With all thine heart

Some years seem to come with themes.
This years is Psalm 3: especially verse 5 and 6.
"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." 
I did not pick the theme, it picked me.
It has followed me around in good times, and been my companion, my friend, through the tough.
It is my constant pondering, to do something with all thine heart. It means you have no room, no heart space for anything else. All of yourself, everything you've got is dedicated to that one thing. Trust in the Lord.
Oh my soul, place all of thy trust in the Lord, in His faithfulness, goodness, and promises. Place no hope in your own ability, but in strength from above.
When i look into the future, it is not known to me, but I know the one to whom it is known. I place all my trust, everything I've got in Him.

Daughter of Faith

Father Abraham had many sons
Many sons had father Abraham
And I am one of them
And so are you
So let's just Praise the Lord!

     This is one of those songs that we sang in church growing up-- or actually we sang it in Sunday school, and at youth camps because it's fun and interactive, and gets you moving-- all good ways to keep kids attention. But this is one those songs that I appreciated as a child, and endured as a teenager, but am just NOW grasping the concept.

      I love reading the Bible, and I love my God. His ways are perfect. I can never out-do him. I can't understand more than Him- all of what I truly understand is a gift from him, not something I hunted out and reasoned. His truths are truths. They never change. And sometimes he reaches out and touches us, opening our eyes to a truth that has always been there, but we only just realized. He is eternal. Just because I wasn't always conscious of Him, does not mean He met me the day I met Him. He knew me before I was in my mother's womb, before my mother was in her mother's womb. Before the foundation of the earth, God thought of me. And God loved me. In my human self, I can't love the way God loves. It's a gift to taste that eternal, unconditional love. He is a giver. He has perfect timing. He gives us that touch, that nudge at just the right moment. Exactly when he for-ordained it to happen. He is constant. I am not. My feelings are up and down, and they are deceiving. One moment, I'm in love with everyone, the next, everyone is annoying. He loves me anyway.  He gave me, and everyone on this earth a gift when He gave us the Bible. Because the Bible gives us an absolute when our feelings muddle our thoughts, and our intellect is confused. His Word never fails. If there is any good in me, it comes from God. He is so good. And I'm learning to trust Him, I'm learning about Him, and I want to draw so much closer to Him. He knows my heart. He is my God.

    So back to Abraham, the father of faith.  Recently, I've been pondering this thought, being a child of Abraham, not by genetics, but by faith.  The more I consider this truth, the more amazed I am, the more excited I get. I am in awe. There are depths to this truth that I am sure I am not reaching, but what I've tasted of it has brought me joy, ecstatic joy.  Because you see, God promised to bless Abraham. Not because Abraham was good, or because he wouldn't fail God, but because God said He would do it, and God cannot lie. And Abraham's promise extended to his seed, not just natural seed, but to the seed of his faith, and that's me. Because I believed God when He said, "It is finished" (John 19:30). 
      I know that there is nothing good in me. I know I am a filthy, wretched sinner, and no better than any other person. But God's Word says "For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16)  And Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized everyone of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. For the promises is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call" (Acts 2:38-39).
     And I believe that, because He touched me, He worked on me. He changed my heart. He saved my soul. He filled me with the Holy Ghost, and it keeps me. I believe He has more for me, I want to be filled to overflowing. I believe that every promise in His Word is for me. I won't try to wrap my pea-brain about how He's going to accomplish all that He is promised, but I know that He is able, and He will do it.
    And that's why I am a child of Abraham- by faith. That seed of faith is in me. Glory!

Galatians 3:
vs 6-8 "Even as Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness. Know ye therefore that they which are of faith, the same are the children of Abraham. And the scripture foreseeing that God would justify the heathen through faith, preached before the gospel unto Abraham, saying, In thee shall all nations be bless. So then they which be of the faith are blessed with faithful Abraham."
vs 14 "That the blessing of Abraham might come on the Gentiles through Jesus Christ; that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith."
vs 26-29 "For we are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. And if ye be Christ's then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise."

Isn't this just marvelous? I just can't describe what a joy, and peace this little revelation, this thought gives me. Because, as I read Genesis, I begin to think of these people- Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Leah, Rachel, Joseph- as family. And this family of faith that I have encourages me. Because they weren't perfect, and they didn't always make the right choices or do the right thing. But the promise of God stuck. It was fixed. It could not move. So when I look at my life, and I'm not quite sure what to do, or what's going on, or how it's all going to work out, or if I 'm going to make it, I look back at how perfectly God worked it out for my family of faith, and peace fills my soul.
There's something about being part of this family of faith that makes you a little bit crazy, because recently I've had this audacious thought that Almighty God is just as mindful of me as he was of Adam and Eve, of Noah, of Enoch, of Ruth, of Esther, of Abigail, of David, of Joseph, Isaac, and of Abraham and Sarah. Of this, I am sure, I can trust Him that whatever His plan for my life, it will be accomplished, and it will work out perfectly.

So these past few days i have been singing that old camp song about Father Abraham and his many sons, and I smile, because when you catch that thought, you really are ready to praise the Lord.

The upward way

I’m pressing on the upward way,
New heights I’m gaining every day;
Still praying as I’m onward bound,
“Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.”

Lord, lift me up and let me stand,
By faith, on Heaven’s table land,
A higher plane than I have found;
Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.

My heart has no desire to stay
Where doubts arise and fears dismay;
Though some may dwell where those abound,
My prayer, my aim, is higher ground.

I want to live above the world,
Though Satan’s darts at me are hurled;
For faith has caught the joyful sound,
The song of saints on higher ground.

I want to scale the utmost height
And catch a gleam of glory bright;
But still I’ll pray till Heav’n I’ve found,
“Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.”

- Johnson Oatman

My heart's cry is that every day the Savior of my soul would lead me to higher ground. 

He's showing me who I am. I am blessed.

He's poking my nest. I am going home.

He's watering my life. I am growing

He's molding and shaping. I am changing.

He's handling it. I am resting.

It amazes me what He has done in my life, it amazes me how He works... His faithfulness holds me.

So, lead me, faithful Savior, ever onward to higher ground.

in my heart

It's been a hard few months, and especially a hard few weeks. My spirit cries out to God, be our help in this time. In my heart, I hear him say, "Hold on, my daughter, hold on.  You may be tested, but never forsaken." In stillness, He comes to wrap us in comfort. Our master is teaching us to trust in Him, to lean on Him through every hard trial. I surely do love him, and rest in the promises in His word. I claim them for myself and my family. He is here, and He WILL work everything out perfectly. It may not be pain free, but it will be perfectly done. He is a perfect God, and I will trust Him.

The Battle is Not Yours, It's the Lords- Yolanda Adams. 

summer beginnings

Summer break has begun very well.  Here's a snippet of how i spent the lovely gift of time that summer affords...

for lunch- pb&j with audi.. yum! also grapefruit and bananas! yum!
for spending time outside- weeding and picking the strawberry patch.. slight sunburn included... also watching autumn as she discovered the joys of a water hose on a hot day.
for cleaning- scrubbed a few porch cushions.. while autumn splashed in soapy water
for friendship- caught up with my hannah joy. i love that i have a friend who comes over for hours and we do pretty much nothing. she fits right in.
for dinner- pizza that never came. very sad story about how i ordered pizza from papa johns and they never came... they later said they had no record of the order... they did give us 2 free pizzas... but they called me "the amber situation"....bizarre (we eventually DID eat... just 3 hours later than planned)
for dessert- ice cream and syrup and whipped cream with grandmom. she loves ice cream. i do too.
for relaxing- adventures in odyssey.. comfort, humor, wisdom in one radio show.
for reflection- how amazing is it that this semester has just flown by? that i'm half-way done with college? that in just 2 short years i will be an RN? My Lord has saved me, kept me, protected me, helped me, and showered love and mercy upon me. I have been so very blessed.

goodnight, my friends.

ps.  my herbs and my garden are growing!! i've been able to cook a few things with my herbs! such fun! and i made some muffins with our strawberries (although, they were a little weird, but it wasn't the strawberries fault.. it was mine). I love this growing business.. it's so rewarding. :)
pps. our neighbors are setting off fireworks. summer is so much fun!

Amazing...

I'm thankful for grace tonight. I need it. I have it. Lord, show me, teach me how to share it.
I'm thankful for friends, families, freshly painted walls, rain, thunderstorms, professors (yes, that's right, professors), peanut butter M&Ms, etc. But, I think, MOST of all, I'm thankful for grace.

Too much, dahling, too much.

Have you ever experience that look that your mother gives you when you've burst into the room with yet ANOTHER brilliant idea. It's that look that says "I know you. You are so naive. This is going to be so much more work than you think. You're going to make me help, eventually."
How do moms know everything? It never ceases to amaze me.
I get excited about things. I really like doing things. There's always a project I want to complete, always some wish to fulfill. I like this about myself. I like that I like doing things. This is good. What I don't like is how I can be so very gung-ho at the beginning, but I get to the point of no return and realize that man, this is gonna be hard, and man, it's gonna take a lot more time and patience than i had planned.
Currently, I have a bathroom, stripped of wallpaper, needing to be cleaned, spackled, sanded, primed, painted, and cleaned again. And yes, I know it's gonna be beautiful when it's done, but it's amazing the situations i put myself into. So, hopefully, this time next week, my bathroom walls will have some color again. CANNOT wait. and that's all i really have to say tonight.  Goodnight, friends. I hope your projects are not quite so unwieldy as mine. = ]

Missing...

This week, especially today, I've been really missing all the people I love. I think it's because my mom and dad have been gone for a few days... and it felt like forever. Made me emotional... or more so than I am in general. I think God made me with extra doses of tears...

I've been missing my cousins in Arizona. I think the most fun I've had in life has been with those cousins. They always are good for a laugh and a hug. They always get my jokes. I can always be me around them, and they love me anyway. I haven't see any of them in a long time. I really want a squishy hug from Bridget, and to hear Mary laugh. Why does family have to live so far away. Why can't everybody I love just come and live on a cul-de-sac with me. We can rotate where we have dinner, and only have to cook on certain days. Oh what fun we could have! I know that might sound just awful to some people, but there are days when I can't imagine anything more wonderful than that in this world


.

(just a few of my dear cousins)

I also miss my dear kindred spirits. They warm me and cheer me and brighten my days. What good friends God has given me. I just wish I could spend an afternoon chatting in the very same room as my dear ones. That would be just loverly.

(just a few of my kindreds)

But mostly, I've been missing the most wonderful man I have ever know. Every time I came to see him, he'd greet me with a "Hello, Miss beautiful." Every time I said goodbye, He'd say "I love you more." We would sit around the kitchen table and talk about all of the things I could do someday. He believed I could be anything I wanted to be. When he would really laugh, his shoulders would shake, and his eyes would twinkle, and those beautiful laugh lines around his eyes would scrunch up. Sometimes he cried with laughter. All of his children can laugh like that. If I could pick one McFadden gene to have, it would be to laugh like my Poppop and his kids. It's one of my favorite things in the world when they laugh like that.


I don't know if distance really makes the heart grow fonder, but it does make you more appreciative of the time you get with the people you love.
Consider this your warning, loved ones. I might just not let go next time I see you.

Spring Things.

What an adventure God has made life. Sometimes I just love to explore the simple things. They are so dear and fun. Tonight abi-dear and I are having a girls night. I picked the show- Road to Avonlea. She's providing the brownies. I was going to make those also, but she rushed over before I could start. She kindly informed me that I ruin brownies and that they are her thing, and "No touchie."
Recently, I've been excited by the beautiful weather, my soon to be herb garden, my soon to be vegetable garden, my soon to be changed bathroom, my soon to be over semester, etc. I'm trying new things, and redoing old. I'm growing closer to some friends, and farther from others. Oh what a journey this life is. My desire is that I'll always be growing ever closer to my Lord. That He always instigates the changes in this stubborn heart.
So dear blog friends, I hope your spring is bringing all sorts of lovely things. That the sunshine of this season would sprout joy in your hearts.
Love, Amber

Semester 4, Day 1

Really and truly, a lovely day one. Beginning with some early morning prayer, and one 50 minute class. Add a cinnamon dolce latte, and a bright afternoon. Pretty great, actually.

I'm determined to begin this semester with joy. I know I cannot control much of anything, but I can control my attitude. I can begin my days in prayer, handing over my burdens to God. I can ask for His joy throughout every situation. I can choose to be content in any situation I encounter. Just like Paul says in in Philippians 4: 11 "...I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." I do not know if I've learned that quite yet, but I'll apply it right now to this semester. I will be content, I will be joyful, I will sing praises to My God. For He is great and mighty and worthy of all my praise. These are things I can do. I'm going to be proactive. The devil will not steal my joy. So... here I am in the middle of day one, praising God, and bubbling over. Let's start this thing right.

cycl-clunk-ing

Today I went for an hour long bike ride. It was such fun, except for i kept hurting myself. I think I might need lessons, but until someone volunteers to give me said lessons, i'll keep plunking along trying to figure this cycling thing out. I have a few things I want to achieve through this biking venture, and I'm having fun a long the way.
In other news, I smell like sweat. It is gross.
ps. this picture made me laugh.

Joyful

I am so joyful today. He has made me glad.
I am so thankful for the wonderful people in my life --
For friends who give me office supplies and devotionals... because they KNOW that I love those gifts. For a family that laughs. For a boss who gives me hugs.
Today... I'm planning on getting organized for the spring semester. And while I'm slightly terrified of these classes, I also feel ready to rise to a new set of challenges. I anticipate toting my Bible around campus, and whipping it out whenever I feel anxiety begin to rise. I am thankful for a God who promises to never leave me nor forsake me... even in the depths of nursing school. I am thankful that I am halfway through my Sophomore year. I am thankful that God has financially provided through generous donors.
Don't you know.. this is a lovely, lovely day.
"And my soul shall be joyful in the Lord: it shall rejoice in his salvation"- Psalm 35:9

one month later...

Hello old blog, old friend.
It's been a while, hasn't it? a wonderful "while." Since my last post, so much has happened, so much has been stirred up within me. I don't really feel like explaining the nitty gritty details, but the end result is that I have such a great desire to praise God. He is worthy. No matter what we are going through, no matter what our eyes see, He is worthy. Even more than that, He loves us, and desires to pour himself out upon us. Through his grace and mercy, and his death on the cross, He gives us His righteousness. I have such joy, and peace within me. I have such a desire to really pray, and I'm asking God to show me how. I have such a desire to be kind and loving, and to get out of my comfort zone to reach out to others. I keep singing this song from retreat.
I give my mind, completely to you, Lord.
Fill me with your thoughts, make them all brand new.
And change my life, let me live in all that's true
I just want to think like you.
I don't want to let any opportunity to witness pass me by.
I want to live the way He wants me to live.
I don't want to let an opportunity to show grace and mercy pass me by.
I've been thinking on this thought...You have the power to say good things that bestow grace unto the hearer.
Ephesian 4: 29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."
This thought is so powerful, administering grace with what you say. Lord, let me administer grace with what I say.

Have a lovely night, blog world. I'm filled to overflowing with love.

ps. I've bought a bike, and i anticipate blogging about this new venture of mine. fyi.
today, was my first ride. it was just splendid. I'm pretty excited about this.