Thursday, October 20, 2011

catching up.. or running behind


Hello little blog, i've had lots of things to blog about recently, but no time. I still have no time, but i'm just gonna put off my assignments a little longer, because i feel like blogging.
~First off, autumn has truly arrived. Who can walk around in the crispness of this day and not think happy thoughts for even just a second? It's windy, crispy, and sunny. AND beautiful. Changing leaves are one of my favorite events each year. and that's just that.
~Secondly, I've been pondering a thought of "keeping chipper." You see, it really is that time in the semester where i have 5 papers to work on, exams every week, and altogether too many things to do. It's that time of year where i'm doing good if i get 1 thing done on my checklist, let alone the 16 other things i have written down. But you know, i really think this is what college is about, adapting to each new professor, adapting to each class and its' exams/ requirements, adapting to various time-sucking practices. It's about just going with the flow, and holding on. You reach a point where you can only focus on the next task to be done. College is about embracing this way of life; this place where getting ahead is impossible, and cramming inevitable. I think it's amazing how in high school, cramming meant spending half an hour during lunch reviewing notes, making sure you remembered everything you'd learned. In highschool, if you were staying up late doing work, and spending your weekends working on projects it was because you were being lazy at other times, because you has been putting it off. In college, there is always something to be doing. You are never caught up. If you're weekends are spent doing fun things, it's because you make a conscious decision to put that off, or cram that there. And this is the cause of so much stress, that feeling of never being truly on top of everything.
Of course, I am the kind of person that this is troubling to. I really really like it when all 17 things on my checklist are done. But i think it's actually good for me to have to let things go. There's only so much one person can do on 24 hours, 7 days, or 4 months.
It's about setting priorities, about recognizing what is worth your time and what is not. and that's a good thing.
So that is why sometimes I choose to blog when I should be doing something else... because just being allowed to write down these random thoughts floating around my brain gives me some extra cranial space for exam material.
And that is also why I am going down the shore tonight, because family always trumps school, and nieces who run around chasing seagulls are so worth a few late nights of cramming, and a few early morning torture sessions.
So, dear Sea Isle City, I'll see you late tonight.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

One of THOSE days....

"Oh my soul, faint not... Where there is hatred, let me sow love."- Jenny and Tyler

I'm sitting in Barnes and Noble Starbucks Cafe. I have two exams down, one more class, than one more exam to go. I'm listening to Jenny and Tyler, accomplishing all those little things that I need to do, and I especially need to do when I don't feel like studying. The sun is so sparkly and bright today. The air is crisp. I just can't stop smiling. It's just one of those splenderiferous day.
I think today is so fabulous because it could have been horrible. I mean, three exams is not usually the recipe that makes me all chipper. But apparently, today, exams cannot bring me down. I want to get up and sing and dance around this cafe, but I don't think anyone else would appreciate it.
I know it sounds like I'm leading up to some big revelation of why I'm so happy, but.. I'm not. I guess the only reason is that I'm alive, and just happy to be here. I'm just happy to be meeting new people, to be breathing in this day, to be stepping closer to being a nurse. I'm just happy.
I'm pretty sure the barrista's name is Lilly. I think she was in my drivers ed class. I love delaware, you just keep bumping into the same people over and over again. I wonder what has happened in her life in the four years since I've seen her. She still looks nice, but that doesn't really tell me much does it? I wonder if she graduated, if she's a student here. I wonder is she has a plan for college. I wonder if she's has a grandparent die? I wonder if she's satisfied? I wonder if she knows Jesus?
Maybe I'll get back to my studies, and leave this pondering alone......... maybe.

Oh, its been one of those days
When You walk with me
So close I think
I caught the scent of angels wings
And my, oh my unsuspecting heart
Leaps from its place
Begins to race
I finally found the place I never want to leave, oh...
Why cant every day, why cant every day
Why cant every day, cant every day
Be like today
Oh, why do the good days end
Makes me wonder now
With the way I feel
If yesterday was even real
And why, oh why do You seem so far away
Could it be that Ive gone too far this time
And can I make You change Your mind, oh...
Why should any day, why should any day
Why should any day, should any day
Be like today
Do I wallow in my insecurities?
Do I trust what my feelings are tellin me?
Or do I rest in the promise You made me
That Youll never leave?
Oh, today my heart believes
That the truth remains
You never change
Your love for me is still the same, oh...
Why cant every day, why cant every day
Why cant every day, cant every day
Be like today
~Chris Rice


Monday, October 3, 2011

Looking deeper

Everyone should read The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery. It's a lovely book about people who do not fit into their stereotypes, who have lots of secrets, and depth. They have peels that only the observant even realize are there; only the persistent attempt to peel back those layers.
The book was so satisfying because it made me think, it made me "expand my mind." Along the way, I laughed, I cried. "It moved me, Bob." (who knows who I am quoting?)
I've been thinking recently about how people have so much more too them than face value. And I am realizing, as a result of this thought process, that many people who think they know others really well, actually know very little. Many people only touch the surface of other peoples' lives. Meanwhile, many people make deep impressions while they think that they've not had an ounce of influence.
I know I'm not going to know some people as well as I should like, but I'm going to try to know people a little better. I want to at least make an attempt to understand others better. I think it's a worthwhile venture, don't you?

ps. Have you ever used Google books? It is AWESOME! You can read portions of some books, and others in their entirety for free. It's fabulous because you can peruse a novel before purchasing it!! I just had to share my delight!