Too much, dahling, too much.

Have you ever experience that look that your mother gives you when you've burst into the room with yet ANOTHER brilliant idea. It's that look that says "I know you. You are so naive. This is going to be so much more work than you think. You're going to make me help, eventually."
How do moms know everything? It never ceases to amaze me.
I get excited about things. I really like doing things. There's always a project I want to complete, always some wish to fulfill. I like this about myself. I like that I like doing things. This is good. What I don't like is how I can be so very gung-ho at the beginning, but I get to the point of no return and realize that man, this is gonna be hard, and man, it's gonna take a lot more time and patience than i had planned.
Currently, I have a bathroom, stripped of wallpaper, needing to be cleaned, spackled, sanded, primed, painted, and cleaned again. And yes, I know it's gonna be beautiful when it's done, but it's amazing the situations i put myself into. So, hopefully, this time next week, my bathroom walls will have some color again. CANNOT wait. and that's all i really have to say tonight.  Goodnight, friends. I hope your projects are not quite so unwieldy as mine. = ]

Missing...

This week, especially today, I've been really missing all the people I love. I think it's because my mom and dad have been gone for a few days... and it felt like forever. Made me emotional... or more so than I am in general. I think God made me with extra doses of tears...

I've been missing my cousins in Arizona. I think the most fun I've had in life has been with those cousins. They always are good for a laugh and a hug. They always get my jokes. I can always be me around them, and they love me anyway. I haven't see any of them in a long time. I really want a squishy hug from Bridget, and to hear Mary laugh. Why does family have to live so far away. Why can't everybody I love just come and live on a cul-de-sac with me. We can rotate where we have dinner, and only have to cook on certain days. Oh what fun we could have! I know that might sound just awful to some people, but there are days when I can't imagine anything more wonderful than that in this world


.

(just a few of my dear cousins)

I also miss my dear kindred spirits. They warm me and cheer me and brighten my days. What good friends God has given me. I just wish I could spend an afternoon chatting in the very same room as my dear ones. That would be just loverly.

(just a few of my kindreds)

But mostly, I've been missing the most wonderful man I have ever know. Every time I came to see him, he'd greet me with a "Hello, Miss beautiful." Every time I said goodbye, He'd say "I love you more." We would sit around the kitchen table and talk about all of the things I could do someday. He believed I could be anything I wanted to be. When he would really laugh, his shoulders would shake, and his eyes would twinkle, and those beautiful laugh lines around his eyes would scrunch up. Sometimes he cried with laughter. All of his children can laugh like that. If I could pick one McFadden gene to have, it would be to laugh like my Poppop and his kids. It's one of my favorite things in the world when they laugh like that.


I don't know if distance really makes the heart grow fonder, but it does make you more appreciative of the time you get with the people you love.
Consider this your warning, loved ones. I might just not let go next time I see you.

Spring Things.

What an adventure God has made life. Sometimes I just love to explore the simple things. They are so dear and fun. Tonight abi-dear and I are having a girls night. I picked the show- Road to Avonlea. She's providing the brownies. I was going to make those also, but she rushed over before I could start. She kindly informed me that I ruin brownies and that they are her thing, and "No touchie."
Recently, I've been excited by the beautiful weather, my soon to be herb garden, my soon to be vegetable garden, my soon to be changed bathroom, my soon to be over semester, etc. I'm trying new things, and redoing old. I'm growing closer to some friends, and farther from others. Oh what a journey this life is. My desire is that I'll always be growing ever closer to my Lord. That He always instigates the changes in this stubborn heart.
So dear blog friends, I hope your spring is bringing all sorts of lovely things. That the sunshine of this season would sprout joy in your hearts.
Love, Amber

Semester 4, Day 1

Really and truly, a lovely day one. Beginning with some early morning prayer, and one 50 minute class. Add a cinnamon dolce latte, and a bright afternoon. Pretty great, actually.

I'm determined to begin this semester with joy. I know I cannot control much of anything, but I can control my attitude. I can begin my days in prayer, handing over my burdens to God. I can ask for His joy throughout every situation. I can choose to be content in any situation I encounter. Just like Paul says in in Philippians 4: 11 "...I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." I do not know if I've learned that quite yet, but I'll apply it right now to this semester. I will be content, I will be joyful, I will sing praises to My God. For He is great and mighty and worthy of all my praise. These are things I can do. I'm going to be proactive. The devil will not steal my joy. So... here I am in the middle of day one, praising God, and bubbling over. Let's start this thing right.

cycl-clunk-ing

Today I went for an hour long bike ride. It was such fun, except for i kept hurting myself. I think I might need lessons, but until someone volunteers to give me said lessons, i'll keep plunking along trying to figure this cycling thing out. I have a few things I want to achieve through this biking venture, and I'm having fun a long the way.
In other news, I smell like sweat. It is gross.
ps. this picture made me laugh.

Joyful

I am so joyful today. He has made me glad.
I am so thankful for the wonderful people in my life --
For friends who give me office supplies and devotionals... because they KNOW that I love those gifts. For a family that laughs. For a boss who gives me hugs.
Today... I'm planning on getting organized for the spring semester. And while I'm slightly terrified of these classes, I also feel ready to rise to a new set of challenges. I anticipate toting my Bible around campus, and whipping it out whenever I feel anxiety begin to rise. I am thankful for a God who promises to never leave me nor forsake me... even in the depths of nursing school. I am thankful that I am halfway through my Sophomore year. I am thankful that God has financially provided through generous donors.
Don't you know.. this is a lovely, lovely day.
"And my soul shall be joyful in the Lord: it shall rejoice in his salvation"- Psalm 35:9

one month later...

Hello old blog, old friend.
It's been a while, hasn't it? a wonderful "while." Since my last post, so much has happened, so much has been stirred up within me. I don't really feel like explaining the nitty gritty details, but the end result is that I have such a great desire to praise God. He is worthy. No matter what we are going through, no matter what our eyes see, He is worthy. Even more than that, He loves us, and desires to pour himself out upon us. Through his grace and mercy, and his death on the cross, He gives us His righteousness. I have such joy, and peace within me. I have such a desire to really pray, and I'm asking God to show me how. I have such a desire to be kind and loving, and to get out of my comfort zone to reach out to others. I keep singing this song from retreat.
I give my mind, completely to you, Lord.
Fill me with your thoughts, make them all brand new.
And change my life, let me live in all that's true
I just want to think like you.
I don't want to let any opportunity to witness pass me by.
I want to live the way He wants me to live.
I don't want to let an opportunity to show grace and mercy pass me by.
I've been thinking on this thought...You have the power to say good things that bestow grace unto the hearer.
Ephesian 4: 29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."
This thought is so powerful, administering grace with what you say. Lord, let me administer grace with what I say.

Have a lovely night, blog world. I'm filled to overflowing with love.

ps. I've bought a bike, and i anticipate blogging about this new venture of mine. fyi.
today, was my first ride. it was just splendid. I'm pretty excited about this.